Based on the definition of worry my
small group came up with (“being anxious about something out of our
control”), I would say I worry, but usually can identify it and turn it
over to God. In general, I haven’t felt like it has been a significant
problem for me. I was challenged,
though, by others’ thinking when they said stress and worry are synonymous,
because I certainly feel stress in my life. I have always viewed it like
the engineering term I learned in school. It is based on the load or
force bearing on an object. I very often feel like my load is heavy and
thus feel stress, but have not necessarily felt “worried”. When I brought
this before God, he showed me that stress is also a form of worry for me.
He showed me that I feel stressed because I am “worried” about doing things on
my own. I am not always asking God to help carry me through the details
of life. I don’t want to disappoint Him with the things He has given me
to do, so my worry comes from a fear of letting God down. This worry stems
from me trying to DO something for God. What God showed me is that in my
definition of stress, I was forgetting the basic equation. Stress is
defined specifically as the load divided by the area the load is applied to
(Stress= force/area for those of you who love math J). Meaning, the larger the area a load is applied to,
the less stress there is. (This is why snowshoes work so well!) God
showed me that when I limit my actions to myself and what I can do, the
stress is high because the “area” is only what I can humanly do. However,
when I factor God into the equation, he multiplies my area and thus decreases
the stress. In essence, we become a team.
He showed me a very practical way
to include him in the equation in my daily life. He showed me that if he
calls me to multiple tasks, he will manage one task while I have to set it
aside to work on the other tasks. Yesterday I was actually able to see it
in a small way. I had lasagna meat cooking on the stove and my son got
his foot caught in a folding chair. I was at first torn about burning the
food or helping him. (I know it sounds silly.) I trusted God to
watch the food while I made my son the priority. I came back to food that
was not burned. What I realized in this silly example is that we can and
should call on Him in the little things so that we can accomplish more for His
kingdom, address the real priorities in life, and find peace in the middle of
chaotic human life. What I realized is that I don’t work alongside
God enough. Instead, I have been working for God.
I think this principle also allows
us to do the impossible, when the world says it is not possible. Remember
in the Old Testament in 2 Kings (chpt. 6) when Elisha’s servant wakes up to a
house surrounded by army men? He says, “What shall we do?” Prophet
Elisha prays, “O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the Lord opened
the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots
of fire all around Elisha. I guess I live short-sighted, like the
servant, more than I realized. Instead, I want to always see God’s
presence around me so that I am always living in victory. I want to work
alongside God as His partner, rather than for Him as his servant. This is
part of the mystery of His grace that I do not feel worthy of, but must reach
out and grab it to live the life God called me to.
The Lord reminded me of the Prayer of Jabez which asks God to “enlarge my
territory.” I am now challenged to refine this prayer for myself to “enlarge
my vision of you, Lord, and your presence in all things in my life.”
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle
and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke
is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:29-30
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